


regret

by kiisuumii



Series: it's an air affair [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Light Angst, i got a lil carried away and ended up writing a vent fic, i wanted this to stand alone from the rest of its an air affair, idek if this counts as angst lmao, idk if this is sad to anyone else but it was to me lmao, it just kinda means a lot to me thats why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:14:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24585931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiisuumii/pseuds/kiisuumii
Summary: how many regrets do you have?i have too many to count
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei/Reader
Series: it's an air affair [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777135
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	regret

“Do you remember what you told me back then?”

Kei glanced towards the girl next to him, who suddenly sat up as they laid in the grass together. The sun was setting, painting the sky a myriad of warm colors that began to fade into the unknown. He did his best to feign disinterest-- it was an old habit he could never kick-- but in reality, he was staring at one of the most important people that ever burst into his life-- violently, suddenly, in a whirlwind of a hurricane that left everything he had known in a wreck. She tore his life apart, but she built it back up, letting him see the world in a way he never could have alone.

“Back when we started high school?”

He didn’t have the faintest memory. In fact, for someone who he credits for changing him for the better, he couldn’t remember when they first met very well, as if they really had known each other forever. He gave a curt, “Not really…”

She was looking out, watching the flocks of birds that flew across the sky, watching the clouds creep ever so slowly to wherever the wind would take them. But her eyes held a deep despair. Kei was always so good at reading people. It was how he could rile up Shoyo and Tobio without fail. It was how, on the court, he never let a spike get past him the second time. It was how he knew when something was bothering her each time. In that moment, he could see the regret she felt before she even opened her mouth.

“It surprised me when you said it. I mean, it surprised everyone when they heard it, since you’re always so sarcastic all the time…”

He couldn’t deny that, that he could be a little too snide sometimes.

“You told me that I should do everything I wanted. To live without regret. To not mind the people around me, to just focus on myself, that what they were doing didn’t mean _I_ wasn’t doing anything…” Her voice began to falter. The hands she had buried in the blades of grass began to grip them hard, as she did her best to not let her voice break anymore than it had already. She pulled the grass she had in her hands out of the ground, throwing them in front of her as violently as she could. She was gritting her teeth, biting back the sting of tears in her eyes.

“Kei… I…” She started.

It had been years since they saw each other. She left Karasuno after their first year. Now, the both of them were in university. He sat up as soon as he could hear her begin to sniffle. Kei placed his hand softly atop a balled fist she now rested in her lap. If he did anything more, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hide his tears either.

“There’s so much I wish I did… So much I wish I _didn’t_ do…” Her voice began to quiet as her head fell. Kei felt the sharpness of her angry tears drip onto the back of his hand. He wrapped it around hers.

“Kei, I-I…” She gasped for breath. “ **I regret so much**.”

This scene was all too familiar. It reminded him of memories that left his mouth dry and bittersweet. There were plenty of times, he remembered, where he would see her like this, and every time, it hurt him more than the last. This time was no different. His heart ached to see her cry, to hear her voice crack, to sit idly by as he just watched, because there was so little that he could actually do to mend her broken heart.

Her sobs grew more unrestrained, bringing her sleeves up to her face to wipe away the onslaught of tears. But all they did was keep coming. She grabbed onto Kei, burying her face in his shoulder, as she bawled, howled, cried out every horrible thing she kept inside her. All he could do was hold her in his arms and hold her tighter.

The sun continued to set, the clouds kept inching their way across the sky, the birds had long left. Her pain seemed immeasurable, but even so, Kei continued to hold her, continued to let her scream, continued to let her soak his shirt in her tears. He knew nothing he could say would resolve her endless amount of regrets. So this was all he could do for her-- be there for here, support her, connect. He felt powerless. For the first time in a long time, he felt defeated. There was nothing he could do. This was all he could do.


End file.
